Gandhi family maid recalled from her leave to decide the Mp and Rajasthan cabinet after Rahul and Priyanka get tired deciding CM post

What has come as a surprise is that the Gandhi family maid has been recalled from her leaves to decide the cabinet ministers in Madhya Pradesh and Rajasthan.

A caravan of luxury cars were sent to pick her up from her village and on her return we managed to speak to her and asked her to explain the situation .
She replied , "You see Rahul baba and Priyanka baby and Sonia ji have become very tired picking the Chief Ministers of Rajasthan and Madhya Pradesh , hence I was called to help them decide .
Since decision of matters in Congress are taken up by Gandhi family members , no one else was left to take decision , hence it was given to me as I am like a family member to them . I have seen Gehlot and Kamal Nath from the time they were small time nothing and used to polish the shoes of Gandhi family , and help me in the kitchen like washing dirty plates and wiping the floor , cleaning toilet .
I have seen them since long time now and I am the best suited person to decide based on their capabilities . Since Sonia ji , Priyanka baby and Rahul Baba have all become tired and exhausted , the task of picking the cabinet has come to the next family member, me . I am almost family , as all other family members have been killed oops died . I hope i can do a good job . "

Haryana Patriarchy Society sues Twitter for Discrimination

Haryana Patriarchy Society sues Twitter for Discrimination

In What has come as a shock to many , Haryana P.I.G . (Patreiarchy infested Guys) Society has sued Twitter and Jack Dorsey (Twitter CEO) ,for discrimination and compensation in light of the recent Twitter storm over a picture posted where Jack is seen holding a placard which says , “Smash Brahminical Patriarchy ) .

We spoke to the President of the Society and this is what he had to say ,”We , the men of Haryana have worked since eternity to harass , discriminate against women , cause them harm , killed new born babies, become the rape capital. We have the worst sex ratio in the country, which wasn’t achieved overnight . Our forefathers worked in the worst sexist and patriarchal manner to demean women , look down upon them , kill new born baby girls , have KhapPanchayat , kill girls who marry outside their caste , make rules like banning jean and mobile phones. “ And then suddenly Brahmins get the title of the most patriarchal caste/group . Not only are they getting free publicity (as everyone has suddenly talking about Brahmins and their achievements), many are even defending them. Like they are everywhere , on top of the male pyramid.

Upon hearing this, many such groups started coming p and suing Twitter and Jack. Bihar P.I.G. Society filed similar case is Patna High Court , stating that , we Biharis have always had Dowry , demanded crazy amount , burnt women . We thought , we were also high up in that ladder but somehow we have been left behind. We feel discriminated .

Muslim society also had similar say , they said , we do Halala , Triple tAlaq, made women feel like crap , since a long time, forced Female Genital Mutiliation .We feel discriminated against .

Even the Dalit P.I.G .society had similar complaints . The husband of 1 maid said , we are famous to beat up our wives who work hard and earn money . We take the money drink and beat them up ,infact most of us do . Yet so one mentions our work . We never get attention .

Some NRI groups are also thinking of filing a similar case. They said , we abandon wives in India and come back abroad, demand hefty dowries are we live overseas and then mistreat women . We should also get highlighted.

Even the Christian Priests Association was thinking of filing such a case . The spokesperson said that we are knows to rape , molest nuns , even when we are men of God . We should also get the publicity .Infact they blamed NarendraModi for this covert way to promote Brahmins and make them popular and put them on the top of another chain .

This has lead to India wide protests and multiple cases are being filed against Twitter and it’s CEO Jack .

We contacted Twitter India , but they offered no response. We hope such a situation comes to a logical conclusion .

Note: This post is just meant to be in jest/humor, not to hurt or malign anyone . Please take this as satire and nothing personal or serious. 

Shashi Tharoor arrested by Wildlife Protection Team for having a mini jungle in his pocket.

In recent events, ShashiTharoor was arrested by Wildlife Protection Police Team under various criminal charges for violating norms and illegally keeping a mini jungle in his pocket.

 

This came into light following  his recent public appearance at an event where he was showcasing his life as a shiv bhakt . At a recent event , Mr. Tharoor told his audience that he was such a devout Shiv bhakt that he always carried a small shivling in his pocket . Some cheered loudly but some members of the audience expressed their doubts and concerns . He took out a small shivling keychain and showed it everyone . Some said that carrying a small statue doesn't mean anything . Smiling and in his ever charming style , Mr. Tharoor replied , "I was aware that such a reaction could come , hence I will now dispel every doubt that you have about my devotion. ". Then he out his hands in a pocket and took out a mini Naag . The audience gasped , some even shrieked in shock and fear . "I am such a devout bhakt that how could i not keep Naag devta along with Lord Shiva ". Everyone in the audience clapped in awe.

Mr Tharoor continued , this is not it. let me now reveal my utter reverence and devotion to Lord Shiva. Then from his pocket he took out a mini bull. "Nandi ". The audience was stunned. Then came a statue of Goddess Parvati. "I believe in gender equality . i am not a sexist , patriarchal devotee". The audience rose to their feet . Then came a small lion from his pocket . "Even Goddess needs her vehicle." , Mr. Tharoor quipped .

 

 

 By now the audience was elated and in disbelief. Next came a small statue of Lord Ganesha, then a small rat , then a small statue of Lord Kartikeya and then a small peacock.  everything was put on table and displayed for all. 

 

 

By now , the audience was on their feet and dancing .In no time , #ShashiTharoorShivBhakt #ShashiTharoorAnimalLover strated trending on twitter . People started putting pics of the various statues and mini animals all over Social Media. One Twitter handle @HotGuysforSexyNidz tweeted "Always found this man hot , but how he is also the hottest Shiv Bhakt and sexiest animal over ". 

An anonymous handle from Lahore, Pakistan with egg DP and 3 followers tweeted, "I knew this all the time , old news. LOL.BTW not just his shivling , but also his ding ding is very miniature ". 

After the ever productive evening, Mr. Tharoor out all his belongings back in his pocket and went back home.

While we were yet to recover from this new revelation, came the shocking news. Wildlife Protection Police team had arrested Mr. Tharoor for various crimes such as possession and illegal confinement of endangered and protected animal and keeping the in unsafe places"such as his pocket ".

 

Meanwhile Congress IT cell in solidarity with their leader tweeted that they suspect hand of anti Hindu groups who was to suppress true Hindu voices.  Famous semen expert Ms. Sagarika Ghose said " As always , i maintain that its the Hindutva terrorism destroying India . First they were after humans and now they have started targeting animals as well . ". 

Meanwhile GreenPeace has issued a statement that they hope that the animals are being taken care of somewhere as their office has been seized under illegal FCRA violation. 

We do hope , this situation comes to a logical conclusion.

Note: This post is just meant to be in jest/humor, not to hurt or malign anyone . Please take this as satire and nothing personal or serious.